April 19, 2009

Crank2: High Voltage=WTF

There is no reason for this movie to be in the theaters… there is no reason for this movie to be made. I mainly wanted to see this movie to see what the Canon XH-A1 (the same camera I’m saving up to buy) could do. The whole movie was shot with this cameras, I’m assuming to cut cost… and this movie looks great, I love the ADD editing and the acid trip on redbull tempo of the film… but honestly… WHAT THE FUCK… this movie has no reason to be here.

I was going to go down to South Center and check it out, but we are in a recession… So I got my eGoons to find me a copy from “Here and There”, and I’m glad I did too. This movie is so extreme for extreme sakes. They got shoot-outs inside strip clubs with strippers getting shot in the tits and bleed out silicon and blood, Asian checks getting hit by cars crossing streets, a therapist who motivates loser with sex appeal, a gay twin brother, a club of gay gangsta, a Godzilla reenactment, nipples being cut off, a fake tv show called “Fuck you Chel-Fucking-ios”, a reanimated dead head in a fish tank, mad dead naked chick (imagine a shoot out on the set of Big Pimping), and a sex scene that is staged on the horse track with horses jumping over them… and yes I saw hard horse cock. To make it even crazier, the movie is not done yet… (ok its done and I think they might be trying to leave it open for a 3rd movie…WHAT THE FUCK)

I would get in to the plot but if you watch the trailer you know the plot. So I’ll sum it up for you, Dude from part one didn’t die and they stole his heart… now he wants his heart back, and the only way to get it is to kick ass and stay charged. To be honest I don’t think I can write any more about this movie… it has tits, blood, jokes, and more tits… This is the best B-movie I have ever seen… would I pay 12.50 to watch it??? NO… will I buy the special edition DVD and get higher then gas prices while I watch??? You bet your ASS…

PS: if you want the same eGoon "viewing" I had of Crank 2... DM my twitter... I got you homie.. cheers.

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